I don't love you
by Mad-Murder
Summary: It was supposed to be a new beginning, new chance; but they didn't have the time they though they had. Not anymore. ( I m sorry for my poor english )
1. Prequel: the new beginning

_"Well, when you go,_ _don't ever think that I'll make you try to stay_ _and maybe when you get back,_ _I'll be off to find another way''_ -I don't love you, by My Chemical Romance

''Promise me you will visit us, brother!'', Alphonse said with serious tone, that made Edward crack a bit. He liked the way Alphonse got really serious about this kind of stuff. "Al,I promise I will visit you when I get the chance'', blond said smiling to his little brother, who didn't look too convinced about it. Alphonse took his suitcase, and walked to the train that was headed to Resembool, to home, to his home.

It felt kinda absurd to Edward, that he was going separate ways with his little brother, he had though to himself that they would travel together for long as possible, but instead of that Alphonse married Winry. And Edward was left behind, not that he would tell his brother that, he really wanted him to be happy this time, and have a normal life. Without him messing things for him. It was fine; he would get used to it. He had to.

He waved his hand at Al, as the the train took it's leave. He saw Al waving back to him, with big grin on his face. Edward tried hard to smile back, but he couldn't. He already missed him. He felt kinda pathetic in a way, his little brother was already settling in, and what was he doing? Nothing.

He was alone.

He tried to shook himself from the selfpitying. But it felt easier than trying to make life less pitiful. He walked off from the station, and started heading home, there was soft spring wind playing with his hair. He smiled bit to himself. 'Maybe this time life will be different', he though, ''This time i'll be happy''.


	2. 1 No cure to this feeling

**No cure to this feeling**

'cancer', the word rang merclessly in 20 years old boy's he really wished, that Roy wasn't there with him, he really did. Because now he couldn't break down. He felt warm touch on his shouder, Golden haired boy, flinched slightly,but didn't dare to look up, he didn't want to see the broken look his commander gave. He didn't dare to look up, because he knew that If he now looked up, he would end up crying his heart out, hugging him, and keeping him close. He certainly didn't want that.

''There's no way to cure it?'', Roy asked before Edward could; both knew the answer allready. But even if they knew that, they wanted to have little bit of hope.

''I m sorry, but there's no cure. We can only give some medication to help with the pains, but you will die, it won't be soon, but I can't promise you many years, '', Doctor said looking sorry for the young man. ''As a doctor, I m suggestin you to live with someone, perhaps ...your brother?'', the doctor continued looking through Edwards papers.

Edward hadn't even though about Alphonse. He had moved in with Winry, about half year ago.

_'we do talk daily, but I don't want to be Alphonses burder...after he got the life he wanted'_, Edward though desperatly. ''I-I can't live with him, I don't want to mess his life'', Edward muttered silently. The doctor looked at Roy. ''You can live with me; and no I m not doing this for pity, Im doing this because I, um care about you'', Roy explained quickly, trying to not sound too embrassing. Edward only smiled slightly to him, and nodded. ''If you are sure about Colonnel'', he said, Roy smirked to the 'Colonnel' part. ''Of course Fullmetal''.

''Before we leave, shouldn't you call your brother?'', Raven haired man said, after walking from the doctors office. Ed had forgot about that allready, the part that he had deathly sickness, that can't be cure; and that he had's to break the new's to his younger brother.

Edward sighed, and started walking to the phone, that was at the waiting hall. '_How am I supposed to tell him calmly that I m dying? What kinda words do I need to use...',_he though while dialing the number, he had no Idea how he would explain it to him, he hoped deeply that Alphonse wouldn't answer the phone. But he did.

''_**Alphonse Elric''**_, a firm voice came from the line.

''It's me, Edward'', blond answered.

''_**Oh, It's Edward who is calling!'', **_Ed heard him say to Winry, before he returned to talk to him.

''_**Anything new there, Brother?**_'', Al said happily; he was always happy to talk with Ed.

''Actually, I was just at the doctor...'', Edward started feeling his heart pump against his ribs. He didn't want to say the next line, he didn't want to break Alphonse's heart.

''_**What is it?''**_, the worry was easily found in Al's voice.

''I m dying; I have a cancer'', Edward finally said, and felt hot tears burn his eyes. '_no, not here, not yet', _He though desperatly, holding his tears.

''_**I, I don't know what to say,I ugh...'',**_ Alphonse broke down on the other side of the phone silently. Edward didn't know what to say either; there was nothing left to say about it.

''Al, I need to go, but I will call you again tommorw, okay? '', Edward murmured, trying to keep the saddness off his tone.

''_**Okay, l-let's talk more tommorw, I will come visit you soon'', **_Al said, still not knowing what to say or do.

''Okay, bye'', Edward ended the call before Alphonse could say anything back. He sighed , and looked to his right and saw Roy look at him. ''Should we get your stuff from your apparment?'', Roy asked from Ed. Only answer that blond gave him was a sligth nod. They left the hospital in silent, all the way to youngers apparment was quiet. Roy didn't know what to talk about, so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

They walked to the yard of an old house, Edward searched for his keyes from his pocket. He un-locked the door, and walked in. ''This is so small'', Roy though out loud. ''Well I m not here often, I usually come back really late, and go stairght to bed'', Edward said , and took some book's from his kitchen table, and gave them to Roy to hold. Edward went to another room, leaving Roy space out to the kitchen. 'well at least now he will have good place to stay', Roy though looking at the wall's that looked like there was some kinda food on it, the paper was slized off from some parts. The floor was snarking under pressure, and there was also some food, and something that looked like rat's shit. ''Well I got everything I need'', Edward said coming back to the kitchen with small backpack. ''That's all?'', Roy asked amazed. ''yeah, few clothes, and some books'', blond said smiling. ''Let's leave this place allready, before some diseaded rat comes'', Roy muttered, that made Edward laugh slightly, He hadn't notice before, but his apparment looked like some drug addicts home, with the filt and smell.

''Don't be too suprised when you see my house'', Roy said glancing to the boy. ''Well it can't be as bad as mine so, no worrys'', Edward said shaking his head. When their ride arrived to Roy's house; Edward couldn' believe his own eyes. What he saw not an small house. It was big family house. It was painted with light blue, and had a red roof. There was some flowers at the front yard. It looked like a place were perfect family's lived.

Edward got off from the car, and stared at the house.

''Roy, do you have some kinda secret family living with you?'', blond asked dumly, shocked by the appearance of the others house. Roy laughed, he knew that Ed would react like this; Everyone who ever visited him acted like this.

''No;I live by myself'', Roy said, while taking Ed's stuff from the car. They walked inside the house; and Edward was even more amazed. There was homie feeling inside. Sudden warmness filled Edward; it had been a while he had that feeling; feeling like he was at home. He didn't know were the feeling came from, but he sure liked it.

Edward walked inside the living room; there was fire place, two sofas, and an tv. Even if the couches were both black, and the wall's were light grey; the wood floor gave the room warmness. Ed continuet re-searching the down stares, finding out that there was a luxury kitchen, bathroom, with bath, and a house hold room. Roy smirked to Edward amazed face. _'like a little kid', _he though. ''Do you want to see your room?'', Roy asked from the boy, Edward nodded eargerly. Roy lead him to up-stares, where was a big hall. There was four doors. ''The first room at the left is my bedroom, the second room is my work room, and also my library, and at the rigth the first door is bathroom, and the second one is my guest room, that is now your room'', Roy explained and looked at Ed, whose eyes were glittering. ''You have a library?'', He said glee with his voice. Roy smiled. ''yes I have, but let's get your stuff to your room'', Roy said, leading ed to the room. it was pretty simple room. There was a closet for clothes, small table and a bed rigth besides a huge window. The light grey color from down stares was also there, but little blue was added to this room's colors.

Edward stared at the room, somehow it made him feel calm, he walked to the window and looked at the backyard. There was flowers growing , and apple trees. ''you like taking care of plants'', Edward stated, not even douting it. Roy blushed slightly. ''well, it's not a bad thing to have a hobby'', Roy said trying to cover his embrasment. ''It kinda suits you'', Edward said and smiled brightly. ''So will you now show me library?'', Ed said, before he felt bang of pain go through him. He yelped silently. But it didn't go un-noticed by Roy. He immidiently ran to the teen's side. ''Are you okay? You should probably rest'', Roy mumbled quickly, he was feeling really worried of Edward. Teen nodded in agreement, he took of his jacket, and went to the bed. ''Wake me up after a hour; I still want to see that library'', Ed said before closing his eyes. ''Okay beansprout'', Roy said and closed the door after him.

Roy went to his office, and sat down to the chair. He covered his face with his hands, he let all his wall's come down; all the feelings he felt at the doctor's office were coming back. He was so angry; because it had to be Edward, he was so angry about it, so damn sad. He let the tears fall down, he quietly cried.


End file.
